It turned out to be a really good weekend. Only after my husband & I had a heart to heart talk. We got over some big hurdles. We actually talked about how we are hurting each other. How much we both don't want to be lonely. How much he truley loves me and I him. That we have worked so hard for so long to build a foundation for our family, home and relationship - we don't want to throw it away. He cried. I cried. We hugged and we kissed.
We kissed like were in love. It was fantastic. I feel rejuvinated. I feel like there is hope.
That was Saturday morning. He left in the after noon to go to a card show with his friend. I stayed home to clean and redo my sons bedroom. Five hours later he came home. I had just finished. I walked past him and noticed he had glitter on his face. Glitter.
Turns out that my dearest went to a titty bar to top the day off. (Which in normal circumstances I could care less. He's a grown up. Do what you want) But the day of all days to do it is when we reconcile our marriage? Needless to say I was pissed. I took a shower. Blew dry my hair. Got dressed and drove off. That night I stayed at a hotel. I just thought if I saw that mans face for one second - I'd probably hurt him or die trying.
So...I bought a jug o wine. Ate Chipotle and got drunk by myself in my own little room in my own little world. Can I just say that ....man was it nice.
No one to ask me for a drink or something to do for them. Just me.
I went home early that morning and I didn't say a damn thing about what happened. It's over. It's done and he knew I meant business. It turned out we actually had a nice day. We went to the Indians Game, had lunch and went to the drive in. (Saw Spiderman) Good movie. The kids liked it. So all in all everthing has worked itself out and I feel good.
Thanks everyone for caring and for the advice.
~T
P.S. Spidermans girl neighbor looks identical to my assistant. That is what I have to live with. She's a twig. Ugh.
P.P.S. 3 more days until my birfday!
Posted by Tiffani at July 13, 2004 02:30 PM | TrackBackThat's awesome to hear, Tiffani. Especially that you could take a hit right there and reconcile it. It speaks worlds. :)
Posted by: Jim at July 13, 2004 03:14 PMI totally agree with you-I could care less if my guy goes to a strip joint (provided it's not a habit) but on that day...that's just not on.
But I think I read it differently than you, Jim. With your "It's done and he knew I meant business", I read into it that you threw the towel in on the marriage aspect.
Posted by: Helen at July 14, 2004 03:39 AMEr...and can I say just one more thing? I can only comment here on it, not on my blog, so if it's ok, just read and nod maybe and close the comments, ok?
I am so wildly in love with Mr. Y it's frightening. Honest.
X Partner Unit used to sit in an armchair in front of the TV, and towards the end of the evening I would often get off my part of the couch and sit on his lap, curving my head into his shoulder and falling asleep with his arms wrapped around my torso. I never had to ask permission, and I never got too heavy. It was just a routine we had, a pattern that we had that, now that it's gone, I realize I miss curling up on a lap and falling asleep sometimes.
Just something stupid. Sorry.
Posted by: Helen at July 14, 2004 07:31 AMUh-forgot to mention on my comment that I write that only to say: sometimes we forget the little routines that we have that make us able to get through the day. I think you may have some deep-seated issues and big problems between you two, maybe even things that in the end you can't reconcile and sadly things go all pear-shaped, but sometimes there are little things that we don't notice until they're gone or until we stop ourselves and make a conscious effort to check.
Dude, I will shut up now.
Posted by: Helen at July 14, 2004 07:33 AMH-
No I'm really not throwing in the towel...yet. I owe it to my children to try. We did however make a pact that if this unhappiness and uncertainty continues then we should end itand stop making ourselves miserable. My kids don't need to see arguing. I don't want to feel like I did before again.
It's a ketch 22. Your damned if you do and damned if you don't.
My husbands a good guy, a good father but not such a great husband. I know it's early still but, he's doing things I never thought he would do.
Posted by: Tiffani at July 14, 2004 12:01 PMHey, it takes a life time to become a good husband, we men are hard to train. We have a really short memory and can be really really stupid without really trying. As my ex wife use to say " James, your an ass-hole at times", she was right.
Posted by: James Old Guy at July 14, 2004 12:09 PM