I actually had an eventful week last week.
Last Monday I was officially baptized & confirmed Catholic. I had been attending the Catholic Church for about 18 years and decided to go for it. With a little push from my husbands cousin who asked me to be her sons Godmother.
I had never been baptized before so…this was a big deal to me. It felt good to finally get dunked….. My slate has been wiped clean. Yes it has….shut up all of you! It has too. I am sin free. Or I was for about 24 hours. Then, I screamed the G.D. word and it went down hill from there. Now I’m back to goin’ to hell.
Can I ask one question though? Why doesn’t anyone ever talk about the host? You know the Body of Christ? Is that in some rule book that it’s not allowed.
Now mind you that I went through classes for my daughters first Communion a few years ago and she has been receiving it for sometime. Not a peep. Not one word.
Do you know where I’m going with this? Now I have been in anticipation for as long as I can remember as to what that one little wafer would taste like.
Ooohh. I bet it tastes like a cracker but less salty.
I wondered the texture, the flavor ….just about everything. When it finally came time to receive my Holy First Communion I was absolutely stunned.
Do you know what it tasted like? Oh I’m sure you do you heathens. You never thought to talk about it though, did you? It tasted like Styrofoam. Styrofoam that melted in about 3 seconds. Styrofoam that finally shrunk down into a tiny little spit ball. I felt like I did when I was in the 3rd grade wanting to spit it up at the ceiling of the girls bathroom. (yeah girls did that too) – Wow…I was ripped off. All these years of wondering. They couldn’t do anything better with these things. I mean this is the Body Of Christ. For God Sake. Stunned I tell ya …stunned.
So I'm going to invent Chocolate Bodies of Christ. Or Strawberry. Maybe Banana.
Posted by Tiffani at July 20, 2004 04:35 PM | TrackBackYeah, Jesuswafers are pretty underwhelming. I had the good fortune to attend services as a church in New Jersey that still used loaves and actual wine. Good wine and good bread (and they used a decent hunk of it too), now that's a snack worthy of the Lord.
Posted by: Jim at July 21, 2004 05:56 AMI just had a thought...
With transubstantiation literally turning the bread into the body of Christ, wasn't Jesus really telling the apostles "bite me"?
Posted by: Jim at July 21, 2004 05:59 AMLOL, i received communion for the first time in second grade and that's what i thought too: styrofoam! i'm not being blasphemous, that's what it's like. Actually in high school we'd sometimes have services where they had some good tasty bread, like a muffin.
Hey, congratulations on your baptism!
Posted by: annika at July 21, 2004 01:44 PMKind of makes you wonder about other things that the church doesn't tell you.
Posted by: James Old Guy at July 23, 2004 10:13 AM